Poem - Oliver ‘Trooper Bluegum’ Hogue

To My Camel

By Oliver ‘Trooper Bluegum’ Hogue

You're an ugly smellful creature:

You're a blot upon the plain:

I have seen Mohamed beat you,

And it gave me little pain.

You're spiteful and you're lazy,

You'd send a white man crazy,

But I reckon you're a daisy

When the Turks come out again.

Your head is most unsightly,

And so is your humpy back;

I hear you roaring nightly,

When you're loading for the track.

You're bow-legged and you're bandy,

But in this desert sandy

It's as well to have you handy:

You're a mighty useful hack.

You shake me something cruel

When you try to do a trot;

I've got to take my gruel,

But you make it very hot:

I've somehow got a notion

That your humpty-dumpty motion

Is worse than on the ocean,

It's a nasty way you've got.

It's a sun-scorched land, the East is,

So we need you when we trek:

My old prad a better beast is,

But he'd soon become a wreck:

You thirst a week unblinking,

And when I see you drinking,

You always set me thinking:

Lord, I wish I had your neck.